“This week is usually one of my favorites. Creating memories with family, honoring traditions, filling our bellies with the tastiest of treats, and recognizing our blessings. I wrote a book on gratitude after all. It’s for that reason, though, that I haven’t posted. I know I should be thankful, but I don’t want to be fake,” she began in a photo shared on Sunday, November 29. “And, I’m struggling. This guy…my rock, my best friend, my hero, my love…is struggling. Not every day, and not to the point that he can’t work or cook or exercise or be with family, but enough.”
The former Bachelorette, 48, went on to explain that they’ve “been struggling for months” and trying to get answers.
“This week, we got an answer that would normally be the best answer of all good answers. We found out that Ryan doesn’t have cancer. A HUGE relief…without a doubt, especially after fighting to find a doctor to take symptoms that lined up with lymphoma seriously and advocating for the scans to rule it out,” the Indiana native continued, before explaining that they were hopeful for a diagnosis so they could “fight for him to be cured instead of fighting for an answer. How messed up is that? Don’t worry, I know. It’s messed up. But, that’s where we are. In a holding pattern of not knowing.”
The couple, who met on the first season of The Bachelorette and married in 2003, have two children, Max, 13, and Blakesley, 11. In the post, she said that she is thankful for everything they do have — and that their family doesn’t have to be separated during the COVID-19 pandemic.
“[We’re] thankful to have each other and health insurance and jobs and a home and food on the table and healthy family members and all the things that make this life struggle-free. But if I’m not posting or answering emails or emotional or disconnected, please remember that everyone is struggling in some way, behind closed doors,” the reality star continued. “We are young-ish and blessed, but not immune.”
The physical therapist wrapped up her post on a hopeful note: “We lived a fairy tale on TV and have a great life for all intents and purposes, but answers would be nice. So, I’m going to keep praying for answers and am hopeful that if you are the praying type, that you’ll think of Ryan when the time comes to send up a message
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